You may be perfect in bed. But, if you're eager to know what happens when sex goes hilariously wrong, get hold of 1001 Ridiculous Sexual Misadventures.
In her book, author Gina McKinnon has revealed some of the funniest tales of people who are starved of a saucy sex life and desperate for more satisfaction in the sack, British newspaper the Daily Star reported.
An Edinburgh man caught doing it with a traffic cone claimed to be carrying out a piece of fringe theatre; a pair of lovestruck teenagers in the Czech Republic got run over by a tractor as they got busy in the hay.
In 2001 the King of Swaziland fined himself a cow when he broke his own rule banning sex in his country; German Folko Stiebner got three years in jail for forcing his wife to have sex with their 60-year-old neighbour in return for beer.
A Swedish hockey game was delayed several times last year because of fans throwing sex toys on to the ice to taunt player Jan Huokko who was caught up in a sex tape scandal; A Kent couple Heather Rice and Toby Dyer were fined 250 pounds after making love in a fridge in a busy supermarket.
Dutch cops arrested a 25-year-old and his 33-year-old lover for having sex on a car bonnet: The vehicle in question was a police car.
Taiwanese duo Lee Shin, 29, and Lin Gu, 25, were hospitalised when their car rolled off a cliff during an extra-marital escapade in the back seat.
A French couple were caught on a mobile phone camera having it off in the lobby of a bank. A secretary in London successfully sued her boss for 4,500 pounds after he made her watch him gorge on a novelty chocolate penis.
